Well I won't be doing that anytime soon...

My body was trying to tell me something last night and did I listen. Nope. My stomach was in knots almost the whole time. I didn't belong there. There close and were not. I didn't feel like a third wheel. I just knew my place wasn't there with them. Talking about other time when I wasn't there kinda made me feel weird. I could really laugh at some of the inside jokes because i wasn't there when they were thought up. It seems like you put on quite a show around her. Are you only yourself around me? Or is that a show as well? I went just to see how it would be. The three of us. Hanging out. It doesn't work. Not too mention I can see the way you look at her. It's the same way I look...at you. I'm not so naive my sorry eyes can see... You sure said it Paramore. I don't know. I really don't know anymore. About anything. Were too different. Things are the same in my perspective...bullshit. If things were the same i wouldn't have felt like i was going to barf while you too sat there laughing way too much. Like it was forced. I wasn't all bad but I won't be doing it again and I won't be putting in effort. But I'll stand on my porch and wait. I'll be pulling away.

Beach on Friday...can't come at a better time. Maybe I can get lost there. And never come back here. Sometimes I wish that. And damn my dreams for filling my head with fantasies.

"Thanks for hanging out with me."

I was there too you know...